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Henry IV Part 2
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  • ACT V SCENE III

    
     Dramatis Personae 
     Induction 
     Act I   Scene I 
     Act I   Scene II 
     Act I   Scene III 
     Act II  Scene I 
     Act II  Scene II 
     Act II  Scene III 
     Act II  Scene IV 
     Act III Scene I
     Act III Scene II
    
     Act IV  Scene I 
     Act IV  Scene II
     Act IV  Scene III 
     Act IV  Scene IV 
     Act IV  Scene V         
     Act V   Scene I 
     Act V   Scene II 
     Act V   Scene III 
     Act V   Scene IV 
     Act V   Scene V
     Epilogue
     Complete play
    


     Act V 

    
    ACT V: SCENE III	Gloucestershire. SHALLOW'S orchard.

    Enter FALSTAFF, SHALLOW, SILENCE, DAVY, BARDOLPH,
    	and the Page
    
    SHALLOW	Nay, you shall see my orchard, where, in an arbour,
    	we will eat a last year's pippin of my own graffing,
    	with a dish of caraways, and so forth: come,
    	cousin Silence: and then to bed.
    
    FALSTAFF	'Fore God, you have here a goodly dwelling and a rich.
    
    SHALLOW	Barren, barren, barren; beggars all, beggars all,
    	Sir John: marry, good air. Spread, Davy; spread,
    	Davy; well said, Davy.
    
    FALSTAFF	This Davy serves you for good uses; he is your
    	serving-man and your husband.
    
    SHALLOW	A good varlet, a good varlet, a very good varlet,
    	Sir John: by the mass, I have drunk too much sack
    	at supper: a good varlet. Now sit down, now sit
    	down: come, cousin.
    
    SILENCE	Ah, sirrah! quoth-a, we shall
    	Do nothing but eat, and make good cheer,
    
    	Singing
    
    	And praise God for the merry year;
    	When flesh is cheap and females dear,
    	And lusty lads roam here and there
    	So merrily,
    	And ever among so merrily.
    
    FALSTAFF	There's a merry heart! Good Master Silence, I'll
    	give you a health for that anon.
    
    SHALLOW	Give Master Bardolph some wine, Davy.
    
    DAVY	Sweet sir, sit; I'll be with you anon. most sweet
    	sir, sit. Master page, good master page, sit.
    	Proface! What you want in meat, we'll have in drink:
    	but you must bear; the heart's all.
    
    	Exit
    
    SHALLOW	Be merry, Master Bardolph; and, my little soldier
    	there, be merry.
    
    SILENCE	Be merry, be merry, my wife has all;
    
    	Singing
    
    	For women are shrews, both short and tall:
    	'Tis merry in hall when beards wag all,
    	And welcome merry Shrove-tide.
    	Be merry, be merry.
    
    FALSTAFF	I did not think Master Silence had been a man of
    	this mettle.
    
    SILENCE	Who, I? I have been merry twice and once ere now.
    
    	Re-enter DAVY
    
    DAVY	There's a dish of leather-coats for you.
    
    	To BARDOLPH
    
    SHALLOW	Davy!
    
    DAVY	Your worship! I'll be with you straight.
    
    	To BARDOLPH
    
    	A cup of wine, sir?
    
    SILENCE	A cup of wine that's brisk and fine,
    
    	Singing
    
    	And drink unto the leman mine;
    	And a merry heart lives long-a.
    
    FALSTAFF	Well said, Master Silence.
    
    SILENCE	An we shall be merry, now comes in the sweet o' the night.
    
    FALSTAFF	Health and long life to you, Master Silence.
    
    SILENCE	Fill the cup, and let it come;
    
    	Singing
    
    	I'll pledge you a mile to the bottom.
    
    SHALLOW	Honest Bardolph, welcome: if thou wantest any
    	thing, and wilt not call, beshrew thy heart.
    	Welcome, my little tiny thief.
    
    	To the Page
    
    	And welcome indeed too. I'll drink to Master
    	Bardolph, and to all the cavaleros about London.
    
    DAVY	I hove to see London once ere I die.
    
    BARDOLPH	An I might see you there, Davy,--
    
    SHALLOW	By the mass, you'll crack a quart together, ha!
    	Will you not, Master Bardolph?
    
    BARDOLPH	Yea, sir, in a pottle-pot.
    
    SHALLOW	By God's liggens, I thank thee: the knave will
    	stick by thee, I can assure thee that. A' will not
    	out; he is true bred.
    
    BARDOLPH	And I'll stick by him, sir.
    
    SHALLOW	Why, there spoke a king. Lack nothing: be merry.
    
    	Knocking within
    
    	Look who's at door there, ho! who knocks?
    
    	Exit DAVY
    
    FALSTAFF	Why, now you have done me right.
    
    	To SILENCE, seeing him take off a bumper
    
    SILENCE	Singing
    
    	Do me right,
    	And dub me knight: Samingo.
    	Is't not so?
    
    FALSTAFF	'Tis so.
    
    SILENCE	Is't so? Why then, say an old man can do somewhat.
    
    	Re-enter DAVY
    
    DAVY	An't please your worship, there's one Pistol come
    	from the court with news.
    
    FALSTAFF	From the court! let him come in.
    
    	Enter PISTOL
    
    	How now, Pistol!
    
    PISTOL	Sir John, God save you!
    
    FALSTAFF	What wind blew you hither, Pistol?
    
    PISTOL	Not the ill wind which blows no man to good. Sweet
    	knight, thou art now one of the greatest men in this realm.
    
    SILENCE	By'r lady, I think a' be, but goodman Puff of Barson.
    
    PISTOL	Puff!
    	Puff in thy teeth, most recreant coward base!
    	Sir John, I am thy Pistol and thy friend,
    	And helter-skelter have I rode to thee,
    	And tidings do I bring and lucky joys
    	And golden times and happy news of price.
    
    FALSTAFF	I pray thee now, deliver them like a man of this world.
    
    PISTOL	A foutre for the world and worldlings base!
    	I speak of Africa and golden joys.
    
    FALSTAFF	O base Assyrian knight, what is thy news?
    	Let King Cophetua know the truth thereof.
    
    SILENCE	And Robin Hood, Scarlet, and John.
    
    	Singing
    
    PISTOL	Shall dunghill curs confront the Helicons?
    	And shall good news be baffled?
    	Then, Pistol, lay thy head in Furies' lap.
    
    SILENCE	Honest gentleman, I know not your breeding.
    
    PISTOL	Why then, lament therefore.
    
    SHALLOW	Give me pardon, sir: if, sir, you come with news
    	from the court, I take it there's but two ways,
    	either to utter them, or to conceal them. I am,
    	sir, under the king, in some authority.
    
    PISTOL	Under which king, Besonian? speak, or die.
    
    SHALLOW	Under King Harry.
    
    PISTOL	                  Harry the Fourth? or Fifth?
    
    SHALLOW	Harry the Fourth.
    
    PISTOL	A foutre for thine office!
    	Sir John, thy tender lambkin now is king;
    	Harry the Fifth's the man. I speak the truth:
    	When Pistol lies, do this; and fig me, like
    	The bragging Spaniard.
    
    FALSTAFF	What, is the old king dead?
    
    PISTOL	As nail in door: the things I speak are just.
    
    FALSTAFF	Away, Bardolph! saddle my horse. Master Robert
    	Shallow, choose what office thou wilt in the land,
    	'tis thine. Pistol, I will double-charge thee with dignities.
    
    BARDOLPH	O joyful day!
    	I would not take a knighthood for my fortune.
    
    PISTOL	What! I do bring good news.
    
    FALSTAFF	Carry Master Silence to bed. Master Shallow, my
    	Lord Shallow,--be what thou wilt; I am fortune's
    	steward--get on thy boots: we'll ride all night.
    	O sweet Pistol! Away, Bardolph!
    
    	Exit BARDOLPH
    
    	Come, Pistol, utter more to me; and withal devise
    	something to do thyself good. Boot, boot, Master
    	Shallow: I know the young king is sick for me. Let
    	us take any man's horses; the laws of England are at
    	my commandment. Blessed are they that have been my
    	friends; and woe to my lord chief-justice!
    
    PISTOL	Let vultures vile seize on his lungs also!
    	'Where is the life that late I led?' say they:
    	Why, here it is; welcome these pleasant days!
    
    	Exeunt
    
    
    

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