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Love's Labours Lost
  • Dram.Personae
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  • ACT I SCENE I

    
     Dramatis Personae 
     Act I   Scene I 
     Act I   Scene II 
     Act II  Scene I 
     Act III Scene I 
     Act IV  Scene I  
     Act IV  Scene II 
     Act IV  Scene III 
     Act V   Scene I 
     Act V   Scene II 
     Complete play
    


     Act I 

    
    ACT I: SCENE I	The king of Navarre's park.

    
    	Enter FERDINAND king of Navarre, BIRON, LONGAVILLE
    	and DUMAIN
    
    FERDINAND	Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives,
    	Live register'd upon our brazen tombs
    	And then grace us in the disgrace of death;
    	When, spite of cormorant devouring Time,
    	The endeavor of this present breath may buy
    	That honour which shall bate his scythe's keen edge
    	And make us heirs of all eternity.
    	Therefore, brave conquerors,--for so you are,
    	That war against your own affections
    	And the huge army of the world's desires,--
    	Our late edict shall strongly stand in force:
    	Navarre shall be the wonder of the world;
    	Our court shall be a little Academe,
    	Still and contemplative in living art.
    	You three, Biron, Dumain, and Longaville,
    	Have sworn for three years' term to live with me
    	My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes
    	That are recorded in this schedule here:
    	Your oaths are pass'd; and now subscribe your names,
    	That his own hand may strike his honour down
    	That violates the smallest branch herein:
    	If you are arm'd to do as sworn to do,
    	Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.
    
    LONGAVILLE	I am resolved; 'tis but a three years' fast:
    	The mind shall banquet, though the body pine:
    	Fat paunches have lean pates, and dainty bits
    	Make rich the ribs, but bankrupt quite the wits.
    
    DUMAIN	My loving lord, Dumain is mortified:
    	The grosser manner of these world's delights
    	He throws upon the gross world's baser slaves:
    	To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die;
    	With all these living in philosophy.
    
    BIRON	I can but say their protestation over;
    	So much, dear liege, I have already sworn,
    	That is, to live and study here three years.
    	But there are other strict observances;
    	As, not to see a woman in that term,
    	Which I hope well is not enrolled there;
    	And one day in a week to touch no food
    	And but one meal on every day beside,
    	The which I hope is not enrolled there;
    	And then, to sleep but three hours in the night,
    	And not be seen to wink of all the day--
    	When I was wont to think no harm all night
    	And make a dark night too of half the day--
    	Which I hope well is not enrolled there:
    	O, these are barren tasks, too hard to keep,
    	Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep!
    
    FERDINAND	Your oath is pass'd to pass away from these.
    
    BIRON	Let me say no, my liege, an if you please:
    	I only swore to study with your grace
    	And stay here in your court for three years' space.
    
    LONGAVILLE	You swore to that, Biron, and to the rest.
    
    BIRON	By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest.
    	What is the end of study? let me know.
    
    FERDINAND	Why, that to know, which else we should not know.
    
    BIRON	Things hid and barr'd, you mean, from common sense?
    
    FERDINAND	Ay, that is study's godlike recompense.
    
    BIRON	Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
    	To know the thing I am forbid to know:
    	As thus,--to study where I well may dine,
    	When I to feast expressly am forbid;
    	Or study where to meet some mistress fine,
    	When mistresses from common sense are hid;
    	Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
    	Study to break it and not break my troth.
    	If study's gain be thus and this be so,
    	Study knows that which yet it doth not know:
    	Swear me to this, and I will ne'er say no.
    
    FERDINAND	These be the stops that hinder study quite
    	And train our intellects to vain delight.
    
    BIRON	Why, all delights are vain; but that most vain,
    	Which with pain purchased doth inherit pain:
    	As, painfully to pore upon a book
    	To seek the light of truth; while truth the while
    	Doth falsely blind the eyesight of his look:
    	Light seeking light doth light of light beguile:
    	So, ere you find where light in darkness lies,
    	Your light grows dark by losing of your eyes.
    	Study me how to please the eye indeed
    	By fixing it upon a fairer eye,
    	Who dazzling so, that eye shall be his heed
    	And give him light that it was blinded by.
    	Study is like the heaven's glorious sun
    	That will not be deep-search'd with saucy looks:
    	Small have continual plodders ever won
    	Save base authority from others' books
    	These earthly godfathers of heaven's lights
    	That give a name to every fixed star
    	Have no more profit of their shining nights
    	Than those that walk and wot not what they are.
    	Too much to know is to know nought but fame;
    	And every godfather can give a name.
    
    FERDINAND	How well he's read, to reason against reading!
    
    DUMAIN	Proceeded well, to stop all good proceeding!
    
    LONGAVILLE	He weeds the corn and still lets grow the weeding.
    
    BIRON	The spring is near when green geese are a-breeding.
    
    DUMAIN	How follows that?
    
    BIRON	                  Fit in his place and time.
    
    DUMAIN	In reason nothing.
    
    BIRON	                  Something then in rhyme.
    
    FERDINAND	Biron is like an envious sneaping frost,
    	That bites the first-born infants of the spring.
    
    BIRON	Well, say I am; why should proud summer boast
    	Before the birds have any cause to sing?
    	Why should I joy in any abortive birth?
    	At Christmas I no more desire a rose
    	Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;
    	But like of each thing that in season grows.
    	So you, to study now it is too late,
    	Climb o'er the house to unlock the little gate.
    
    FERDINAND	Well, sit you out: go home, Biron: adieu.
    
    BIRON	No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you:
    	And though I have for barbarism spoke more
    	Than for that angel knowledge you can say,
    	Yet confident I'll keep what I have swore
    	And bide the penance of each three years' day.
    	Give me the paper; let me read the same;
    	And to the strict'st decrees I'll write my name.
    
    FERDINAND	How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!
    
    BIRON	Reads  'Item, That no woman shall come within a
    	mile of my court:' Hath this been proclaimed?
    
    LONGAVILLE	Four days ago.
    
    BIRON	Let's see the penalty.
    
    	Reads
    
    	'On pain of losing her tongue.' Who devised this penalty?
    
    LONGAVILLE	Marry, that did I.
    
    BIRON	Sweet lord, and why?
    
    LONGAVILLE	To fright them hence with that dread penalty.
    
    BIRON	A dangerous law against gentility!
    
    	Reads
    
    	'Item, If any man be seen to talk with a woman
    	within the term of three years, he shall endure such
    	public shame as the rest of the court can possibly devise.'
    	This article, my liege, yourself must break;
    	For well you know here comes in embassy
    	The French king's daughter with yourself to speak--
    	A maid of grace and complete majesty--
    	About surrender up of Aquitaine
    	To her decrepit, sick and bedrid father:
    	Therefore this article is made in vain,
    	Or vainly comes the admired princess hither.
    
    FERDINAND	What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.
    
    BIRON	So study evermore is overshot:
    	While it doth study to have what it would
    	It doth forget to do the thing it should,
    	And when it hath the thing it hunteth most,
    	'Tis won as towns with fire, so won, so lost.
    
    FERDINAND	We must of force dispense with this decree;
    	She must lie here on mere necessity.
    
    BIRON	Necessity will make us all forsworn
    	Three thousand times within this three years' space;
    	For every man with his affects is born,
    	Not by might master'd but by special grace:
    	If I break faith, this word shall speak for me;
    	I am forsworn on 'mere necessity.'
    	So to the laws at large I write my name:
    
    	Subscribes
    
    	And he that breaks them in the least degree
    	Stands in attainder of eternal shame:
    	Suggestions are to other as to me;
    	But I believe, although I seem so loath,
    	I am the last that will last keep his oath.
    	But is there no quick recreation granted?
    
    FERDINAND	Ay, that there is. Our court, you know, is haunted
    	With a refined traveller of Spain;
    	A man in all the world's new fashion planted,
    	That hath a mint of phrases in his brain;
    	One whom the music of his own vain tongue
    	Doth ravish like enchanting harmony;
    	A man of complements, whom right and wrong
    	Have chose as umpire of their mutiny:
    	This child of fancy, that Armado hight,
    	For interim to our studies shall relate
    	In high-born words the worth of many a knight
    	From tawny Spain lost in the world's debate.
    	How you delight, my lords, I know not, I;
    	But, I protest, I love to hear him lie
    	And I will use him for my minstrelsy.
    
    BIRON	Armado is a most illustrious wight,
    	A man of fire-new words, fashion's own knight.
    
    LONGAVILLE	Costard the swain and he shall be our sport;
    	And so to study, three years is but short.
    
    	Enter DULL with a letter, and COSTARD
    
    DULL	Which is the duke's own person?
    
    BIRON	This, fellow: what wouldst?
    
    DULL	I myself reprehend his own person, for I am his
    	grace's tharborough: but I would see his own person
    	in flesh and blood.
    
    BIRON	This is he.
    
    DULL	Signior Arme--Arme--commends you. There's villany
    	abroad: this letter will tell you more.
    
    COSTARD	Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.
    
    FERDINAND	A letter from the magnificent Armado.
    
    BIRON	How low soever the matter, I hope in God for high words.
    
    LONGAVILLE	A high hope for a low heaven: God grant us patience!
    
    BIRON	To hear? or forbear laughing?
    
    LONGAVILLE	To hear meekly, sir, and to laugh moderately; or to
    	forbear both.
    
    BIRON	Well, sir, be it as the style shall give us cause to
    	climb in the merriness.
    
    COSTARD	The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta.
    	The manner of it is, I was taken with the manner.
    
    BIRON	In what manner?
    
    COSTARD	In manner and form following, sir; all those three:
    	I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with
    	her upon the form, and taken following her into the
    	park; which, put together, is in manner and form
    	following. Now, sir, for the manner,--it is the
    	manner of a man to speak to a woman: for the form,--
    	in some form.
    
    BIRON	For the following, sir?
    
    COSTARD	As it shall follow in my correction: and God defend
    	the right!
    
    FERDINAND	Will you hear this letter with attention?
    
    BIRON	As we would hear an oracle.
    
    COSTARD	Such is the simplicity of man to hearken after the flesh.
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'Great deputy, the welkin's vicegerent and
    	sole dominator of Navarre, my soul's earth's god,
    	and body's fostering patron.'
    
    COSTARD	Not a word of Costard yet.
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'So it is,'--
    
    COSTARD	It may be so: but if he say it is so, he is, in
    	telling true, but so.
    
    FERDINAND	Peace!
    
    COSTARD	Be to me and every man that dares not fight!
    
    FERDINAND	No words!
    
    COSTARD	Of other men's secrets, I beseech you.
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'So it is, besieged with sable-coloured
    	melancholy, I did commend the black-oppressing humour
    	to the most wholesome physic of thy health-giving
    	air; and, as I am a gentleman, betook myself to
    	walk. The time when. About the sixth hour; when
    	beasts most graze, birds best peck, and men sit down
    	to that nourishment which is called supper: so much
    	for the time when. Now for the ground which; which,
    	I mean, I walked upon: it is y-cleped thy park. Then
    	for the place where; where, I mean, I did encounter
    	that obscene and preposterous event, that draweth
    	from my snow-white pen the ebon-coloured ink, which
    	here thou viewest, beholdest, surveyest, or seest;
    	but to the place where; it standeth north-north-east
    	and by east from the west corner of thy curious-
    	knotted garden: there did I see that low-spirited
    	swain, that base minnow of thy mirth,'--
    
    COSTARD	Me?
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'that unlettered small-knowing soul,'--
    
    COSTARD	Me?
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'that shallow vassal,'--
    
    COSTARD	Still me?
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'which, as I remember, hight Costard,'--
    
    COSTARD	O, me!
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'sorted and consorted, contrary to thy
    	established proclaimed edict and continent canon,
    	which with,--O, with--but with this I passion to say
    	wherewith,--
    
    COSTARD	With a wench.
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'with a child of our grandmother Eve, a
    	female; or, for thy more sweet understanding, a
    	woman. Him I, as my ever-esteemed duty pricks me on,
    	have sent to thee, to receive the meed of
    	punishment, by thy sweet grace's officer, Anthony
    	Dull; a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, and
    	estimation.'
    
    DULL	'Me, an't shall please you; I am Anthony Dull.
    
    FERDINAND	Reads  'For Jaquenetta,--so is the weaker vessel
    	called which I apprehended with the aforesaid
    	swain,--I keep her as a vessel of the law's fury;
    	and shall, at the least of thy sweet notice, bring
    	her to trial. Thine, in all compliments of devoted
    	and heart-burning heat of duty.
    		        DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.'
    
    BIRON	This is not so well as I looked for, but the best
    	that ever I heard.
    
    FERDINAND	Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
    	you to this?
    
    COSTARD	Sir, I confess the wench.
    
    FERDINAND	Did you hear the proclamation?
    
    COSTARD	I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
    	the marking of it.
    
    FERDINAND	It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
    	with a wench.
    
    COSTARD	I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.
    
    FERDINAND	Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'
    
    COSTARD	This was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.
    
    FERDINAND	It is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'
    
    COSTARD	If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.
    
    FERDINAND	This maid will not serve your turn, sir.
    
    COSTARD	This maid will serve my turn, sir.
    
    FERDINAND	Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
    	a week with bran and water.
    
    COSTARD	I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.
    
    FERDINAND	And Don Armado shall be your keeper.
    	My Lord Biron, see him deliver'd o'er:
    	And go we, lords, to put in practise that
    	Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.
    
    	Exeunt FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAIN
    
    BIRON	I'll lay my head to any good man's hat,
    	These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn.
    	Sirrah, come on.
    
    COSTARD	I suffer for the truth, sir; for true it is, I was
    	taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is a true
    	girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of
    	prosperity! Affliction may one day smile again; and
    	till then, sit thee down, sorrow!
    
    	Exeunt
    
    
    

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