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The Comedy of Errors
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  • ACT I SCENE II

    
     Dramatis Personae 
     Act I   Scene I 
     Act I   Scene II 
     Act II  Scene I 
     Act II  Scene II 
     Act III Scene I 
     Act III Scene II  
    
    
    
     Act IV  Scene I  
     Act IV  Scene II 
     Act IV  Scene III 
     Act IV  Scene IV 
     Act V   Scene I 
     Complete play
    


     Act I 

    
    ACT I: SCENE II	The Mart.
    
    	Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, DROMIO of Syracuse,
    	and First Merchant
    
    First Merchant	Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum,
    	Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
    	This very day a Syracusian merchant
    	Is apprehended for arrival here;
    	And not being able to buy out his life
    	According to the statute of the town,
    	Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.
    	There is your money that I had to keep.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
    	And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
    	Within this hour it will be dinner-time:
    	Till that, I'll view the manners of the town,
    	Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
    	And then return and sleep within mine inn,
    	For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
    	Get thee away.
    
    DROMIO OF SYRACUSE	Many a man would take you at your word,
    	And go indeed, having so good a mean.
    
    	Exit
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,
    	When I am dull with care and melancholy,
    	Lightens my humour with his merry jests.
    	What, will you walk with me about the town,
    	And then go to my inn and dine with me?
    
    First Merchant	I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,
    	Of whom I hope to make much benefit;
    	I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock,
    	Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart
    	And afterward consort you till bed-time:
    	My present business calls me from you now.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	Farewell till then: I will go lose myself
    	And wander up and down to view the city.
    
    First Merchant	Sir, I commend you to your own content.
    
    	Exit
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	He that commends me to mine own content
    	Commends me to the thing I cannot get.
    	I to the world am like a drop of water
    	That in the ocean seeks another drop,
    	Who, falling there to find his fellow forth,
    	Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself:
    	So I, to find a mother and a brother,
    	In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.
    
    	Enter DROMIO of Ephesus
    
    	Here comes the almanac of my true date.
    	What now? how chance thou art return'd so soon?
    
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late:
    	The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit,
    	The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell;
    	My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
    	She is so hot because the meat is cold;
    	The meat is cold because you come not home;
    	You come not home because you have no stomach;
    	You have no stomach having broke your fast;
    	But we that know what 'tis to fast and pray
    	Are penitent for your default to-day.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray:
    	Where have you left the money that I gave you?
    
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS	O,--sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday last
    	To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper?
    	The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	I am not in a sportive humour now:
    	Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?
    	We being strangers here, how darest thou trust
    	So great a charge from thine own custody?
    
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS	I pray you, air, as you sit at dinner:
    	I from my mistress come to you in post;
    	If I return, I shall be post indeed,
    	For she will score your fault upon my pate.
    	Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock,
    	And strike you home without a messenger.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out 
    	of season;
    	Reserve them till a merrier hour than this.
    	Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?
    
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS	To me, sir? why, you gave no gold to me.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
    	And tell me how thou hast disposed thy charge.
    
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS	My charge was but to fetch you from 
    	the mart
    	Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner:
    	My mistress and her sister stays for you.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	In what safe place you have bestow'd my money,
    	Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours
    	That stands on tricks when I am undisposed:
    	Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
    
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS	I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
    	Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders,
    	But not a thousand marks between you both.
    	If I should pay your worship those again,
    	Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	Thy mistress' marks? what mistress, slave, 
    	hast thou?
    
    
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS	Your worship's wife, my mistress 
    	at the Phoenix;
    	She that doth fast till you come home to dinner,
    	And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,
    	Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.
    
    DROMIO OF EPHESUS	What mean you, sir? for God's sake, 
                                               hold your hands!
    	Nay, and you will not, sir, I'll take my heels.
    
    	Exit
    
    ANTIPHOLUS
    OF SYRACUSE	Upon my life, by some device or other
    	The villain is o'er-raught of all my money.
    	They say this town is full of cozenage,
    	As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
    	Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
    	Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
    	Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
    	And many such-like liberties of sin:
    	If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
    	I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave:
    	I greatly fear my money is not safe.
    
    	Exit
    
    
    

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